Review independent writing excercise

January 24, 2017

Hi Pals, I hope you are in the good condition and healthy.

I would like to share what I have learned in this day. As a usual day in my Squline class, I learn English with my favorite teacher from Philippine. I have told you how great she is in my previous post. Usually, I have two meeting everyday and it spends twenty five for each session.

When I replay the recording, I can imagine how far the English level with my teacher. Some how she just said “Wow”, “yeah” and so on. I am sure that she actually did not understand with what I said because I also could not understand what I’ve said by only hear the recording. hahaha.. It was awful!

Before we went trough the question number 4 in TOEFL, we had talked about blog. I just noticed that writing is really matter. She said that she has blog and want to share the link to me. She states that the blog is part of her life story. She put many things there such as poem, love story, experience and so on. What I learn from this conversation was making English as part of your foot note. At least you’ll have two benefits from them, first you improve your English and second, you have record of your life journey.


Let’s jump to the main course of this post. Actually, I want to share you about the independent writing. The teacher shared this question two days before I completing this writing. To be honest, I did not read the full sentence of this question before I ready to do that.  The question is:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should invest more money in children’s education than in collage students . Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

You could find my essay in here, the correction here and this is the sample answer of that question: sample

Based on the evaluation, I learn several things:
1. The biggest challenge for me is grammar. I notice bad sentence structure on some correction and need to be restructured.
2. I have to intensify my writing. Because I saw several misspelling in many places.
3. My reading the sample answer, I learned how to make a good conclusion. For instance, when you agree with the statement that children’s education is more important. then, in your conclusion, you may open it by mentioning the benefits of collage students, and you must continue it with a contrast statement. and in the last sentence, you may restate your choice using paraphrases.


I know that I am not neither a perfect nor smart person. But, my power is my ambiance to learn. Al Quran said that there’s eases after hardship. It is mean there are several solutions in a problem. Don’t worry, keep spirit and believe you can do it!
Useful vocabularies:
Cheesy = unpleasant
Awful= unpleasant. awesome ( this word has double meaning, please be careful on it)